“Gog and Magog. The Turkish tribes when they set out for a
country.
The Infernal Guards. Their leaders.
Famine. The result of their advent.
The Constable. He who robs by night and demands payment from
the shop-keepers by day.

“The Judge. He whom all men curse.
The Advocate. He who renders the truth of no effect.
Bribery. That which does the business of the helpless.
The Lucky Man. He who never sees the Judge's countenance.
The Preacher. An ass.
The Prelector. An ass's tail.
The Poet. A greedy coxcomb.

“The Shaykh. Iblís (the Devil).
The Devils. His followers.
The Ṣúfí. He who eats what he has not earned.
The Ḥájji. He who swears falsely by the Ka'ba.

“Boasting and impudence. The Gentry's stock-in-trade.
Nothing. Their existence.
Hollow. Their politeness.
Vanity and folly. Their talk.
Fault-finding, greed, avarice and envy. Their characteristics.
The Fool. He who hopes any good of them.

“The Shopman. He who fears not God.
The Druggist. He who wants to make everyone ill.
The Doctor. An executioner.
The Liar. The astrologer.
The Athlete. An idle rogue.
The Broker. The chartered thief of the market-place.
One per cent. What does not reach the landlord from his crops.
Complaint. What is carried to the landlord.

“Wine. The source of disturbance.
Backgammon, beauties, candles and desert. Its instruments.
The Harp, Lute and Dulcimer. Its music.
Soup and roasted meat. Its food.
The Garden and Parterre. Its appropriate place.
The ‘Destroyer of Joys.’ Ramaḍán.
The ‘Night of Worth.’ The eve of the festival.

“Bang. That which fills the Ṣúfí with ecstasy.
The Bejewelled, or the Noble on both sides. He who indulges simul-
taneously in bang and wine.
The Disappointed. He who enjoys neither.

“The Bachelor. He who laughs at the world's beard.
The Unfortunate. The householder.
The Two-horned (Dhu'l-Qarnayn). He who has two wives.
The most unfortunate of the unfortunate. He who has more.
The Futile. The householder's life.

The Wasted. His time.
The Dissipated. His wealth.
The Distracted. His mind.
The Bitter. His life.
The Abode of Mourning. His house.
The Enemy in the House. His son.
The Ill-starred. He who is afflicted with a daughter.
The Adversary. His brother.
The Kinsman. His deadly foe.
Joy after sorrow. The triple divorce.

“The Lady. She who has many lovers.
The House-wife. She who has few.
The Virtuous. She who is satisfied with one lover.
The Maiden. A name denoting what does not exist.”

The “Joyous Treatise” (Risála-i-Dilgushá) is a col- 'Ubayd-i­Zákání's “Joyous Treatise” lection of short Arabic and Persian stories and facetiœ, mostly of a somewhat ribald character, preceded by a short Preface. A few specimens of both parts are here appended.

“Juḥá once went to al-Kinása (‘the Dust-heap’) to buy a donkey. A man met him and asked him where he was going. He replied, ‘To al-Kinása to buy a donkey.’ ‘Say, “Please God,”’ answered the other. ‘There is no “Please God” about it,’ responded Juḥá: ‘the donkey is in the market and the money is in my sleeve.’

“Now when he entered the market, some pickpockets fell upon him and stole his money. And as he returned, the man met him again, and enquired whence he came. He replied, ‘From the market, Please God. My money has been stolen, Please God. So I did not buy the donkey, Please God. And I am returning to my house dis­appointed and despoiled, Please God.’”

“A certain man met another riding on a sorry ass, and enquired of him, ‘Whither away?’ He replied, ‘To try to reach the Friday prayer.’ ‘Out on thee!’ exclaimed the other; ‘To-day is Tuesday!’ ‘I shall be lucky,’ answered the rider, ‘if my ass gets me to the mosque by Saturday!’”

“A man came to Iyás ibn Mu'áwiya and asked him: ‘If I should eat dates, would it harm me?’ He replied, ‘No.’ ‘What would happen,’ he continued, ‘if I were to eat fennel with bread?’ ‘Nothing would happen,’ he answered. ‘And if I then drank a little water?’ he asked. ‘What forbids?’ replied the other. Said the questioner, ‘Date-wine is compounded of these things: how then can it be unlawful?’ ‘If I threw some earth at you,’ said Iyás, ‘would it hurt?’ ‘No,’ said the man. ‘And if a little water was poured upon you, would any of your bones be broken?’ continued Iyás. ‘No,’ said the man. ‘But if,’ said Iyás, ‘out of the earth and the water I made a brick, and dried it in the sun, and then struck you on the head with it, how would it be?’ ‘It would kill me,’ answered the other. Said Iyás, ‘This case is like that.’”

“A certain Shí'ite entered a mosque and saw the names of the [four] Companions * written up on the wall. He wished to spit on the names of Abú Bakr and 'Umar, but his spittle fell on the name of 'Alí. He was greatly annoyed at this, and exclaimed, ‘This is only what you deserve for keeping such company!’”

“A certain man claimed to be God. He was brought before the Caliph, who said to him, ‘Last year someone here claimed to be a prophet, and he was put to death.’ ‘It was well done,’ replied the man, ‘for I did not send him.’”

“Juḥá in his childhood was apprenticed for some days to a tailor. One day his master brought a jar of honey to the shop. Desiring to go out on some business, he said to Juḥá, ‘There is poison in this jar: beware lest you partake of it, or you will perish!’ Said Juḥá, ‘What have I to do with it?’ When his master had gone, Juḥá gave a piece of cloth to a money-changer and bought a piece of baker's bread, which he ate with all the honey. When his master returned, he demanded the piece of cloth. ‘Don't beat me,’ said Juḥá, ‘so that I may tell you the truth. A thief stole the piece of cloth while I was not paying attention. I was afraid that when you came back you would beat me, so I said to myself that I would take poison, so that when you returned I should be dead. So I ate all the poison which was in the jar, but I am still alive. The rest you know.’”

“A Qazwíní armed with an enormous shield went out to fight the Heretics. * A stone fired from their stronghold struck him and broke his head. He was much annoyed and exclaimed, ‘O fellow, are you blind that you cannot see so large a shield and must needs hit me on the head?’”

“The son of a certain Qazwíní fell into a well. ‘O my dear boy,’ he exclaimed, ‘don't move from where you are until I go and fetch a rope and pull you out!’”

“A certain mu'adhdhin was running along shouting the call to prayer. They asked him why he was running. He replied, ‘They tell me that my voice sounds best from a distance, so I am running away from it to see if this is true.’”

“Sulṭán Maḥmúd saw a feeble old man carrying on his back a load of firewood. Being moved to pity, he said, ‘Old man, would you prefer that I should give you two or three gold dínárs, or a donkey, or two or three sheep, or a garden, so that you may be delivered from this misery?’ ‘Give me money,’ said the old man, ‘so that I may put it in my girdle, and ride on the donkey, and drive the sheep before me, and go to the garden, and rest there, through your favour, for the rest of my life.’ The Sulṭán was pleased at his reply, and gave orders that this should be done.”

“A man said to his friend, ‘My eye hurts me. What should I do?’ ‘Last year,’ replied his friend, ‘one of my teeth hurt me and I pulled it out.’”

“A bald man coming out from the bath found that his hat had been stolen, and had a violent altercation with the bathman, who declared that he had no hat on when he came. ‘O Musulmáns!’ exclaimed the man, ‘is mine the kind of head which goes about hatless?’”

“A certain Qazwíní was asked if he knew about 'Alí, the Commander of the Faithful. ‘Of course I know about him,’ he replied. ‘Which of the Caliphs was he in order?’ they asked. ‘I know nothing about Caliphs,’ he answered, ‘but it was he whom Ḥusayn caused to die a martyr's death on the Plain of Karbalá!’”*

“A certain gipsy reproached his son, saying, ‘You do nothing, and spend your life in idleness. How often must I tell you that you should learn to turn somersaults, make dogs jump through hoops, or walk on the tight-rope, so that you may derive some profit from life. If you won't listen to me, by Heaven, I will send you to college to learn their moth-eaten science and to become a learned man, so that all your life you may continue in abasement, poverty and evil fortune, and be un­able to earn a single barleycorn anywhere.’”

“A certain Qazwíní was returning from Baghdád in the summer. They asked him what he was doing there. He replied, ‘Sweating.’”

With the “Joyous Treatise,” from which the few anecdotes given above are taken, the printed edition of 'Ubayd-i-Zákání's works ends, except for two letters— models of unintelligible vulgarity and full of solecisms— ascribed to Shaykh Shihábu'd-Dín Qalandar and Mawláná Jalálu'd-Dín b. Ḥusám of Herát, but no doubt written by 'Ubayd himself in order to hold them up to ridicule.

I have devoted to 'Ubayd-i-Zákání more space than he may be deemed by many students of Persian literature Reasons for devoting so much space to 'Ubayd-i­Zákání to deserve, but, in spite of his coarseness and cynicism, his strong originality and boldness of speech appear to me to entitle him to more consideration than he has hitherto received. His “Ethics of the Aristocracy” is valuable for the light it throws on the corrupt morals of his age, and it is at least conceivable that, as 'Ubayd's biographer suggests, it was really written with serious purpose to awaken his countrymen to the lamentable deterioration in public and private life which had taken place in Persia during the Mongol ascendancy. In style and subject-matter 'Ubayd-i-Zákání stands almost alone amongst the older poets, though he bears some resemblance to his predecessor Súzaní, and to his successors Abú Isḥáq (Busḥaq) of Shíráz, the parodist and poet of the kitchen, and Maḥ-múd Qárí of Yazd, the poet of clothes. Amongst the moderns, the learned Mírzá Ḥabíb of Isfahán, the editor of his books, who died in Constantinople towards the end of the nineteenth century, rivals and even surpasses him in hazaliyyát or ribald poems.